I watched the AnoHana move~ This anime always makes me cry asdfjhgjuzukk
So today I went to a doctor that’s a limb specialist to check up on my hands.
Since none of the doctors were abel to help or even find out whats wrong with me bifore I didn’t have much expectations for today. Things were getting better with my hands and I’m abel to draw a bit again with less pain in my hand, I tought I had a muscle inflamation and when that was healed I’d be all back to normal… I hoped
Turns out I have a deformed joint where the thumb finger is in. I also have weak tendons, they are so weak that the doctor was able to disconect my joint without me eaven realising he was doing that. But I can’t fix either of those things. I was born with a flattened joint and weak tendons.
Of course right now I also have tendon inflamation and my joint is a bit hurt, thats why the pain is constant, so I hope that will get a bit better. But I have to take some anti inflamation pills every time my hands start to hurt and I have to wear a thumb orthosis every time I draw so my hand isn’t overwhelmed. Probably for the rest of my life.
I tried out a thumb orthosis and it sucks and I hope I’ll be abel to find one that is comfortable.
It’s like a sick joke or irony, maybe eaven karma. I feel like my hopes and dreams for the future are practicaly getting crushed. Drawing with my criple hands, being an ilustrator or designer with a goddamn orthosis and pain killers. Let’s hope shit gets better.
It might be a childish thing to say but I always tought I was born to be an “artist” or rather to draw, It was always a part of me. Since I was a kid I always dreamt to be a painter or ilustrator. I looked up to my grandad and mom who are really good at drawing and painting and tought ” I wana be like them when I grow up” and I still do in some way. Actualy I have higher expectations, I wana live off of drawing, desighning. And now, since these problems I have, I started doubting everything.
I guess I’m just a bit worried
My hands are still sore so I still can’t do shit
I miss drawing
Today was a nervewreck!
I went to the doctor again today because my hands weren’t getting any better and I was kinda worried. I was running around the hospital being sent from doctor to doctor for hours and they finaly figured out tHAT THEY HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME…
What they did find out is that they gave me the wrong treatment and that the cast just made everything worse.
I already feel better without my cast on but it still hurts if I do stuff. I got some pils from the doctor in hope that they help =_= and exercises for after cast treatment or something
crappy black and white pic